so so so many memories
so many I've lost count
there are so many moments lost in my mind that i close my eyes and search for them in much the same way that my heart searches for you. spending new years eve laying on the grass looking at the stars getting lost in the moment, lost in your eyes. the hot summer air, your warm breath on my skin. the memories in my head move in lulls and lurches as we fast forward to your captivating, piercing eyes locked ever so delicately on mine as the world around us moves in fast forward but we pause, like i should have paused to think about what we were actually doing not just to ourselves but to each other. we were warriors fighting a battle but never on the same page wanting the same thing without realising a word that either of us had said. cryptic words break hearts like lose lips sink ships. always avoiding the conversation that we crave to have like a drug addict craves their next hit but knows it might be their last as death knocks on our front doors. but its hit or miss with us, and always the latter. we've gotten so close, you and I. but now they are the places i miss the most. and you almost leaned in and i almost let you but your as cowardly as a lion and im as impossible as we are improbable.
and out of all of our moments that was my favourite and that was our chance, but someone hit rewind and as history repeated itself i walked away and you let me and that was our final mistake. and out of all of our moments. that was our last.
