why i made the choices I've made and turned my back on what i really want
i guess there is so much that i want
i want to run as fast as i can dream and travel the depths of the world, i want a world full of adventure and courage and pursuit. i want something most other could never imagine.
i want those 5 rings
i want success only few ever experience and few ever deserve. i want to show the world what I'm made of
and i want you.
but they're mismatched world that don't fit together in a way that would give rise to having it all so the choice has always been mine but its a choice between food or water and i can't live without either so i make the choice i feel i need to make although my body can not survive without one of these things for very long and I'm jaded and I'm craving what my body needs but my dreams get in the way and I'm scared of losing the world to gain you. I've gained the world but lost my soul like the way i get lost in your eyes and my vision is cloudy and my brain can't figure a way to burst through this chaos and wave the white flag and surrender to what my heart really wants even though it wants so much so instead ill sit here at war with myself and my dreams and my conscious thought while you filter your way through the unknown process of my brain and just as i learn to breath without you in my life you'll open the door in my head that i keep you locked behind and remind me that this isn't want i want for the rest of my life and that this isn't who i want to be that I've chosen what good for me right now but not whats good for me in 20 years time and in 20 years time i'll be nothing but a speck of dust in the corners of your mind and you wipe me away and discard me like i never meant a thing to you, or maybe i already don't.
i want to run to you and i want you to wait for me but thats just about the most selfish thought I've ever had in my life.
