and here i am, sitting on the edge of this chair, cold air chilling my lungs and making me feel completely hopeless. they wanted to bury me and i fear that they have. trapped. cold alone. i wanted to move on from this with the changing of the seasons but the only thing thats changing in me in my ability to fight. the truth is, I'm a strong as an ant and right now i feel just a small. almost irrelevant as the pictures in my mind torment me to the brink of sanity and reason because i see no reason for me to take another breath and i sit breathlessly in front you without even the slightest amount of hope.
hopeless.
the way i was born.
the way i have lived
and the way i will invariably die
my biggest obstacle has always been the voices in my head but instead they have now become you
and us
and them
me against the world
do i really know any other way. in the epitome of a fruitless effort i have tried fruitlessly to change the game this time around, but i have soured and gone rotten on the tree now only waiting for fall lifelessly to earth and become the dust you walk on. and you will walk through this earth better off for knowing me, but better off without me. just like the rest of them. i keep trying to find reason to fight but my reasons aren't reasons they're excuses and in the end i know what needs to happen and i know what needs to be done. and the time is coming for action. the time is coming now. they say sticks and stones may break your bones but words can end a life. so watch your words and your actions too, then watch mine... and carry that one your conscious forever. knowing that i tried and knowing that you drowned me in all that you think you are with your arrogance and narcissistic self important because at the end of the day you wanted this, you wanted me dead and now i am.
and i wholeheartedly blame you.
you were supposed to love him, but you hated me more.
be careful what you wish for.
