and im scared
and its even scarier to think that your the reason i am scared.
im scared because hes not you
and he never will be
im scared that ill always be waiting for you
for us
for an us thats never been
and never will be
that one day ill wake up and youll be my first thought and my last breath
and ive condemned myself to a life without you or us or this
but thats not my future
its not my reality
and its not fair to be stuck in limbo
holding, wishing, sitting, waiting, hoping
for something that never was
never is
and never could be
but here i am
sitting
wishing
waiting
believing in a fairytale thats is inconceivable
unachievable
false.
