I want to leave this place. Pick up my keys. And drive to you. And I'd drive all day if I had to. I'd run to the furthers corners of the realm just to feel your lips on mine. I'd drive until this fuel tank drips empty then I'd leave the car behind and walk until my feet are bloodied and blistered. I'd walk until the days shift to nights that merge into all the days we've been apart. I'd stumble when my energy depletes in much the same way as my words would stumble from the look in your eyes. I'd run and I'd run whenever life got to real and then run right back to you every time without fail, just as you never fail to disappoint. Your as worthless as worthless comes but were as worthless as each other and our worthless words get lost along the way until we are two years from nothing making small talk about the weather and nothing else
We'd spend our days counting down the moments, counting down the time, counting on each other to just be real for a moment. But we are nothing but gutless, hopeless, worthless creatures filling up the space between us with all the things we could never say to each other.
If I were to say one thing, I should have said it 4 years ago
Instead I'll stop running, I'm in the middle of nowhere, I'll take this shovel and dig until the stars collide. In the space it'll take for you to find me, I'll be nothing but dust in the deserted abyss and you'll know nothing of regret and horror that my life would bring you
Instead we sit across from this table
Talking as if the words we are saying are real
That they mean a thing
Or maybe they mean to much
Your hand could reach into my chest and rip my heart right out, pulsating in your hand the only thing I would utter
With my one last dying breath
Is for honesty
And honestly
Would it even mean a thing?
