I am half agony, I'm half hope.

You pierced my soul. I'm half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with the heart even more own then when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Did not say that man forget sooner than women, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved you, none but you.

--Frederick Wentworth

The thought of you makes me fear for sleep, fear the darkness.
For when I close my eyes, my eyelids dance in colours of you.
I will always want to know what is like to breathe you in, to feel you, to taste you, touch you.
These are the things that will never occur that will never happen.
And you and I will never have a time so for now I will continue to fear the night,
A night so dark that when it envelopes me, hoping that you can break through, i do nothing but fear the night.
And long for it.
Sometimes I wish i could cut my head open and spill you out.
Stop the endless nights that revolve around you.
But sometimes I think, i'd sooner take my own life, a death by love then to lose the very thought of you.
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing okay, better off without you and that I'm moving on and nothing else can danger my space of thought.
Then I remember you and me and us and I remember all the times that I was loved by you.
The look in your eyes.
The sound of your voice.
The feel of your heartbeat against my ear.
And I breathe you in.
And hold you close.
I while I never wanted to let you, go you always seem to let me go.
And that's the fatal flaw about out inconvenient truth.

No one will ever love you and you will never love another person to the enormity that I love you.