why does one begin to write? because she feels misunderstood, i guess. because it never comes out clearly enough when she tries to speak. because she wants to rephrase the world, to take it in and give it back again differently, so that everything is used and nothing is lost. Because its something to do to pass the time until she finds a way to be the person she pretends to be when she writes about you.

But heres the thing; 

 she is not in love with you

she is in love with the idea of you

and frankly, that is the worst way to love someone.