for days, weeks, months
trying to distract myself
when i write in this blog it only makes things worse
it gives my thoughts an outlet and while its better to let them out
they become coherent when my fingers touch these keys
in the corners of my mind these thoughts are fleeting
they only last a second or two
thousands of incoherent tiny thoughts that are manageable in their solitude
but when i open this page
and i write these words
they combine to make the most incomprehensible
and ineffable nonsense that is my life
and its longing for you
you see, i don't believe we born and live and die
we do not exist exclusively in our bodies
we are souls, and have a body, a temporary one
but our souls live on forever
i believe love lasts forever,
but our bodies do not
we are all just a bunch of longing souls looking for their past love
and i found mine
in you
and my soul knows your soul
it longs for your soul
and I'm getting the feeling its found you,
decade after decade
life after life
its found you
and its wanted you
and its lost you
and i failed again in this life
i lost you
so i guess ill see you in the next one
hopefully not repeating the same mistakes i made the last time
because i couldn't think of anything worse
than our souls destined to repeat this love
this loss
this heartache
but i get the feeling this isnt the first time I've lost you.
