i guess what it comes down to is this..
would you speak now? or forever hold your peace.
would you stop me, tell what the words you've held in since the moment you met me or would you let me go
you only have one chance
choose your words carefully because im sick of what ifs and im sick of the maybe
and im sick of us living in only the space in my head.
are you ready for this
are you ready to be honest.
because im not sure how much more of this i can take

rewind and play on repeat

so so so many memories
so many I've lost count
there are so many moments lost in my mind that i close my eyes and search for them in much the same way that my heart searches for you. spending new years eve laying on the grass looking at the stars getting lost in the moment, lost in your eyes. the hot summer air, your warm breath on my skin. the memories in my head move in lulls and lurches as we fast forward to your captivating, piercing eyes locked ever so delicately on mine as the world around us moves in fast forward but we pause, like i should have paused to think about what we were actually doing not just to ourselves but to each other. we were warriors fighting a battle but never on the same page wanting the same thing without realising a word that either of us had said.  cryptic words break hearts like lose lips sink ships.  always avoiding the conversation that we crave to have like a drug addict craves their next hit but knows it might be their last as death knocks on our front doors.  but its hit or miss with us, and always the latter. we've gotten so close, you and I.  but now they are the places i miss the most.  and you almost leaned in and i almost let you but your as cowardly as a lion and im as impossible as we are improbable.
and out of all of our moments that was my favourite and that was our chance, but someone hit rewind and as history repeated itself i walked away and you let me and that was our final mistake. and out of all of our moments. that was our last.

unconditional.

the term unconditional love gets thrown around but we never pause for a second to really think about what that means.
its unselfish love based purely on the needs of the happiness of the other person
love should not be a selfish emotion
it should not come with rules
or guidelines
it should just be
if you really love someone you what them to be happy
with
or without
YOU

unrequited love isn't exactly what this is, but i will love you unconditionally
my love doesn't exist only for what i can get in return and it won't fade even if you don't feel the same
even if there are no use to these emotions
i will love you
i have reached that point when i can love you and be happy for you even if that happiness doesn't include me
there is no loss
no heartbreak
because if your happy
then i will love you enough to be happy for you

i will love you, unconditionally, for eternity.

i can feel myself slowly fading from my mind

I've been going back and forth in my mind
how to respond to someone who doesn't respond to you
maybe this is what i needed
maybe i needed to see he didn't care
i don't get it
at all
maybe because it never really existed in the first place
i guess nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the person you expected to never let you down
to never let you go
but i guess you were the type of person who was supposed to walk into my life, teach me a lesson and then walk out
but your not a good teacher
and i don't get the subject anyway

one day you will realise that i was the one.