the warm yellow light holds constant in my kitchen, the buzzing of the fridge is madness. I sit in my chair, off centre and somehow thats a good representation of how i live my life. My keyboard keys taping to this post and the sound of the fridge. Its quiet. but somehow, so loud at the same time. Its cold, but i like the cold. I can hear my dog snoring, the taping of the keys and the fridge. Suddenly, its deafeningly silent. the yellow lights constant, its the only light i can see. My shirt feels heavy on my chest somehow keeping me in but crushing me to death. The air is stale, cold. Loud. My body casts shadows to the floor that make me somehow feel less alone. And i have a bad taste in my mouth. I feel so tiny in this big room, i have never felt so small and in my peripheral vision, all i see is you.
I know I have to be careful
because there is something self destructive
within me
