i feel like anything i write in this blog at this point in time will be only repeating the same words I've said a million times before over the last 5 years. the words may be slightly different and the order all jumbled up but the message will be the same. the same paragraph of how i feel in your arms, holding me in, like you hold my broken pieces together and when I'm in your arms i feel more whole and more at home then I've ever felt before. or the part about the deep hues of blue that captivate me while i stare back into your eyes from across the room. how the air between us fills with all the words we've never said and could never say to each other. the closeness of your skin, the smell of your cologne, the smile you wore for me.
its like a never ending cycle, and i guess i just want to love you. i want to love you without fear or pain or guilt. i want to love you with everything i am and so everyone can know it. i want to love you where this day blurs into night and i want to roll over at 3am and see you in my bed, and we'd talk about all of our plans and hopes and fears because your mind is far too active to let you have sleep. or maybe ill roll over into your sleeping arms and actually get some sleep. that our hearts would be at peace and our minds settled because everything we ever needed would be right there in front of us.
just us.
you and me.
the way I've always wanted it
but the way its never been.
