Something occurred to me in the depths of my despair, where the lines overlap and the present music plays. These choices we make daily may seems as insignificant as a drop of snow as the winter chills our bones and leaves us breathless. The snow is pure and clean but can snowball in the blink of an eye until your 10 years down the track so afraid to make a different choice. Career driven is one thing but this is idiotic. When that's over you'll have to start again. How about start today, change your choice. That doesn't mean always, just sometimes.
It's okay

My brain has clarity when your not around
The longer away the better.
I feel like I can think again
Breathe again
You wanna play games?
I'll make your heart bleed.

See how I leave with every piece of you

You may have everyone else fooled
But you should know by now
That I know better then that.
You're an open book
You're as clear as water
The bright sun peeking through on a cloudy day
I know the truth
It's not just me
It doesn't fade away
Time changes nothing

It's too early but we're on track for something

Is this the part of the story we've been waiting for?

Stop!

I thought we we past all of this
You pretend like you don't care
And that you don't know what I'm talking about
But the look in your eyes
And the tone of your voice tells a different story

Your eyes always give you away

Don't think just do

Of all of our moments, that was my favorite

Oh my

I have no words

Almost perfect

I never knew you had a taste for revenge

I refuse to chase you around the country side.
I refuse to wait around waiting for the phone to ring.
I refuse to be exactly what you were to me.
I don't hover
I won't linger

You either want to
Or you don't

Hesitate
And I'm gone

I don't play games anymore.

Is this the end

When you know, you know

If you have to think about it
Then you haven't got it

I dreamt of you again last night
But this time you did all the talking.
It took forever to speak the truth but when you did it tore me down
You told me, maybe one day
But today is not that day
And tomorrow isn't looking good either

Please tell me how you separated your self
Tell me how you walked away
Ten years, enough is enough.
Tell me how you did it
So I can do the same

I'll send this message and hold my breath
We both know ill be holding it for a while
It seems fitting
I've always known you'd be the one to kill me

Fine line

I drempt of you again last night,
And I remember every word you said
Which wasn't much because I did all the talking
I said all the things that's been left unsaid over the last 10 years
Yeah, It was a long dream
You held my hand, we kissed, we spoke the truth
3 things that we've never done before
I want to go back to a time when any of this would actually matter
Because we both know I'm about 4 years too late. I guess you might argue more...

How that conversation should have ended.

She interrupted him
Mid sentences
By leaning over the table, running her hands through his hair
"You've cut it" she commented, pulling at his now shorter hair.
An idiotic comment considering he's cut it a hundred times since they last saw each other
"I liked it better long" she noted as if her words meant a thing.
Or maybe they did.

He looked at her eyes, focused on his hair. Her long delicate fingers through his short brown hair, he whispered "I miss you" and he lent forward, "I'm sorry" she said, it's something she should have said years ago, "I've always loved you the most" her words barely a whisper and she lent in to him, to his lips, to the place where she should have always been all along.

I've had you so many times but somehow I want more...

the irony is pretty clear.

What have you got to lose
Except me

Simple

Choose me
Or you fucking lose me

we could have had it all

Primeval chaos

I want to leave this place. Pick up my keys. And drive to you. And I'd drive all day if I had to. I'd run to the furthers corners of the realm just to feel your lips on mine. I'd drive until this fuel tank drips empty then I'd leave the car behind and walk until my feet are bloodied and blistered. I'd walk until the days shift to nights that merge into all the days we've been apart. I'd stumble when my energy depletes in much the same way as my words would stumble from the look in your eyes. I'd run and I'd run whenever life got to real and then run right back to you every time without fail, just as you never fail to disappoint. Your as worthless as worthless comes but were as worthless as each other and our worthless words get lost along the way until we are two years from nothing making small talk about the weather and nothing else
We'd spend our days counting down the moments, counting down the time, counting on each other to just be real for a moment. But we are nothing but gutless, hopeless, worthless creatures filling up the space between us with all the things we could never say to each other.
If I were to say one thing, I should have said it 4 years ago
Instead I'll stop running, I'm in the middle of nowhere, I'll take this shovel and dig until the stars collide. In the space it'll take for you to find me, I'll be nothing but dust in the deserted abyss and you'll know nothing of regret and horror that my life would bring you
Instead we sit across from this table
Talking as if the words we are saying are real
That they mean a thing
Or maybe they mean to much
Your hand could reach into my chest and rip my heart right out, pulsating in your hand the only thing I would utter
With my one last dying breath
Is for honesty
And honestly
Would it even mean a thing?

I want a guy who will treat me like I'm worth millions
Who holds me like he never wants to let go
I want someone who will protect me
Inspire me
Die for me
Fight for me

Even though I'm the hero in this story
And i don't need to be saved

you were fake, i was great. nothing personal.

And I'm not sure if that made things better

Or worse

what you are and never will be.

i hate normalcy
i hate the preferred
i hate the customary
i hate the universal
the conventional
the standard
the usual

i hate them

so what does that mean when your just like it?

i want a guy who is unorthodox
unconventional
outrageous
&& irregular

who thinks outside the box, original thought,
or at least thinks at all!

i don't want a guy off the production line
the same as everyone else
your immature, a sheep.
&& blend easily.

maybe i was kidding myself thinking you were different
thinking we are the same
or at least similar

but instead your just like everyone else
you blend
unrecognisable
a clone

the only way your different is that your different to me.

enjoy being just like everyone else
&& just like everyone else
you'll be without me.

is it too late to remind you how we were?

I’m sick of writing about you. 

I’m angry that the only words I can write down have something to do with you, or make me think back to us. I wish I could finally be responsible for my own actions, and stop blaming you for things that were most definitely my doing. I’m sorry I wasn’t the right person, or I was there for you at the wrong time, or in the wrong way. I want to regret everything I ever did, but I can’t help but look back at the good times we had, the smiles, the words, the feelings. I never want to forget those.

But now, just, please, get out of my head, leave my words, let me let go, if just for a whie. 

I just want to make something out of this nothingness.

sew this up with threads of reason && regret

I'm a girl
I overestimate 
I underestimate 
Im insecure
I'm shy
I'm loud
I say things I don't mean
And expect you to see the hidden meaning
I run
I hide

I say I love you

And I don't lie

Every time I think about you,
I have to remind myself
That if you wanted to talk to me,
You could

When i saw you
I fell in love with you
And you smiled
Because you knew

Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I need it most