Wednesday, August 27, 2014

well that answers that

you are it
you are, perfectly and unequivocally, it
the most misguided thought Ive ever had was that you might not be what my mind paints you to be
but the truth is, you are more than i ever could imagine
you exceeded in every way the guy who lives in my dreams
and i think its the first time I've ever been surprised by you
the very thought of you makes it feel like my heart is beating for the first time
your so much more understanding than i ever could have hoped for
your a safe place I've always felt comfortable, welcomed, wanted
the hardest thing i ever have to do is let go of your hug, get in the car and drive away.
and pretend like that i don't want to spend my entire life in your arms

but we both know i do

sometimes i wish you'd call me on it. not let go. let me know you'd want me to spend my life in your embrace. that you could save me, protect me, and love me wholly and without judgement.  That you would help me in this battle i face everyday, fight this thing in my head and be a soldier beside me. 
but i guess, the truth is, im a lot of effort. a life with me wouldn't be easy. 

and i love you far too much to drag you down with me.